I'm a mum too!

As I walk into the local shops I am hit with all the Mother's Day gifts and cards being promoted ready for the big day and my heart sinks. Anxiety instantly creeps up. I can't breath and I have to avert my eyes.

Why? I am a mum, I should be excited and writing a list of everything I want.

Instead I think of my own dear mum who won't be with us for the first time this Mother's Day and my heart breaks. It still hurts to breath when I think of her. I still wake in tears often wishing she was here.

I push it all back down into that little box of things I am trying to ignore and tell myself I am a mum too, I need to get pumped up for MY Mother's Day and think of my own children and remember that I too deserve this special day.

It is going to be hard, and I will think of mum all day, like I do everyday, but I MUST learn to celebrate and make the most of what I have in my life now.

I will miss her dearly forever. But know that my boys miss their mum too, and need me to be in the present. 


Jacra said…
Your mum will be smiling down @ you all. She will be present that day, i do believe. Make a "special" thing for "Nana", so the kids will remember. This will be a hard one, but you just have to look @ your 2 boys, & be glad that they were able to have hugs, kisses, smiles, stories, sleepovers @ Nana & Pop's house. Thinking of you <3