Barrier breaker

Today I had a hair cut.

So what you say? Well it has been six months since my last hair appointment.  How slack is that. I NEVER spend time on my needs and always push myself to the bottom of the pile.  I nearly cancelled this morning. (I do that a lot!) But I pushed through and kept my appointment.

I went to a different salon than I had in the past. But it was an old hairdresser that I used to visit many years ago. BK  (before kids) So it was lovely to catch up with her and because she was running late it ended up being a 3 hour appointment.  GAH!  But it was so nice to be on my own talking to an adult about stuff. I had a feeling though that Kim would break my barrier today and it had me on edge the whole time.

We chit chatted. She spoke about the loss of her mum and the break down that followed sometime later.  My anxiety started to rise.  My biggest fear over the past 12 mths is that I will fall in a BIG heap one day and struggle to get back up.   Kim bought that home hard today.

We continued to chit chat and she asked how I was doing since mum died.  Nobody asks me that.
I brushed it off as I do and we continued to chit chat.  My anxiety continued to rise and I just wanted to get home.

It's funny the people that manage to break that barrier. I do love my hair, but I wasn't as relaxed as I thought the day would be.  Maybe that's a good step.  Who knows!