Can the real me please stand up?

As I mentioned we celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary yesterday.

Monday is one of Mr 4's childcare days, and Mr 9 decided to go mowing lawns with pop, so we actually ended up going out for a romantic lunch just for two.

Well not so romantic really.  There was no romance involved.  Just lots of small talk and silent moments.  Where did the conversation go before kids? What the hell do you even talk about if it is not kids, work, or the house??

As I sat there in silence looking around the other tables filled with families and their children I actually wished the boys were there with us.

Mr 9 was actually part of our weddding, so he really should have been part of the anniversary celebrations. Right?

I felt like I was hiding the real me, sitting at a table kid free.  It was NOT who I really am. I am a mum, that very, VERY rarely spends time away from the kids.  I was living a lie at that table right then.  I felt like a fraud! I wanted to stand up and say I'm not really someone who gets to wine and dine often, you will most likely find me in the kitchen with food splattered all over me while cooking dinner for four.

Maybe it was because it was the middle of the day. Maybe I have just hit that stage in life where you realise who you really are. Maybe, just maybe I am so content being a mum that I don't let myself enjoy ME time.

Maybe I am totally crazy!


JacintaV said…
Maybe you just don't get to do it often enough so you have forgotten who YOU are. I think it's pretty normal to end up talking about kids/work/house when out alone with hubby (not that we get to do it often) but we do try and talk about other stuff too and even just being alone together and saying nothing is good and we need to learn to be okay with that.
Jacra said…
Yes, i tend to agree with Jacinta , also. Yes, when we go out now, we also do tend to talk about the kids, home, work & the rest. So i am thinking it's just part of the "Married Life" story. I do often wish for the time for us to "spend" as a couple again, but then life with kids is full on. So you are not alone, & it's not unusual to think that way, cause i believe it's kinda normal. x