Is that all they will remember?

I have briefly touched on my mums dementia in an earlier blog, The fear of the unknown, and how worrying it is not knowing what is coming round the next corner. What to expect and how long we have before that dreaded day comes when she no longer recognises us.

My biggest struggle at the moment is trying to prepare my children for this stage, or even trying to make them understand why Nanny is different now, and not as easy going as she once was.

Our 7yr old is really feeling it lately and I just can't get him to understand that Nanny still loves him just as much as she always did, she just doesn't have the patience or I guess the interest that she once did.

I over heard him saying to his 2yr old brother the other night "Nanny is bad enough as she is!" I had to ask him what he meant by that. "She never lets us doing anything anymore!." Was his reply.

How do I keep the good memories alive? How can I make a 7yr old understand that she is really the same Nanny deep down? The one that always loved and cherished him so much.

I suddenly realised that this is the person they are going to remember her for now. Especially our 2yr old son. He will only know the Nan of today.

He will never experience the fun loving Nan that spoilt them rotten, the woman that would give them anything they wanted and laugh at me for saying no more lollies. The Nan that was here everyday just to say Hi and spend time with them.

That Nan has gone, and I fear the memories are fading fast for them already. I don't know how to keep those memories alive and how to keep that bond they once had.

I have beautiful memories of my nan and my boys should be making beautiful memories with their nan too. Not dealing with this horrible, HORRIBLE disease!

We can only make the most of what we have now, and hope that the good days are enough to instill treasured memories for them to cherish always.


Trine said…
Oh sweetheart I feel for you. An adult can understand, but it still hurts to see you parent disappearing within themselves. A child.. can't understand or grasp why Nanny has changed so dramatically. Do you have photo's of nice things that happened with Nanny before it all started to go pear shaped? Perhaps make a memory board - photo's, write down nice memories they have (get them to give you stories they recall) Aside from that.. I don't know.. lots and lots of hugs xx