The Mother load of "Mother guilt"

As the school holidays came to an end I had the Mother of all "Mother guilts."

I felt bad that Lo had been home for 2wks and I was too busy to actually get a day out with him and enjoy the holiday time.

He didn't seem bothered at all, he was loving the fun activities with his mate next door and just chilling out cooking in the kitchen or playing with his little bro. I on the other hand felt terrible that we didn't go to the movies or just jump on the bus for a bit of a day trip.

Thankfully a friend made me realise that it was OK not to spend all the holidays keeping him occupied. As kids mum didn't spend the whole holidays occupying us, and taking us to various activities. We had to find our own fun.

I am always too quick to blame myself, and feel guilty for not being the "perfect mum".

I do my best. I am finally starting to realise that is all that matters. As long as I always do my best and the boys know they are loved then that is as perfect as it gets.


Do you suffer with "Mother guilt"? Do we need to step back and take a leaf out of our grandparents book more often?

Comments

Unknown said…
That's exactly right, Tracy. I remember back to when I was a kid and I was never "entertained" by anyone. If I was staying at my grandma's in the country, sometimes an aunt or uncle or older cousins would take me out for the day to the local pool in summer, but mostly I had to make my own fun. I loved being able to watch TV and stare out the window all day. No pressure to get up early, get ready, do homework - bliss!

Doesn't mean I don't feel guilty, a little bit, but sometimes I just have to say to myself, at least I'm here with him. That's enough.
For me it's about trying to give each of my three kids what they need from me....after I have given them all the basic and midrange care from Maslows hierarchy of needs! It's the extra stuff I have trouble getting to, but I am thinking that hopefully they can see that I work hard to feed them well etc and it is because I think they are worth it. Does that make sense?
I just try my best to give my children some one on one time every day. Sometimes that may be at the park when I leave my boys in their pram, or it might just be at home reading a book, or playing "If you're happy and you know it" or just having a little cuddle without the other two grabbing at us.
If I can manage that, I try to let myself off the hook for not organising finger painting or for not taking them out to the backyard enough.
But yes, mother guilt is one of those things that makes me wake up in the morning saying: "Today I'm going to try to be a better mum than yesterday."
Jumping in from FYBF :)
Glow said…
I think the only proper holiday activity we ever did was an afternoon of ten pin bowling once every holidays. The rest was just entertain yourself time... I turned out fine, as long as you don't count my nervous twitch ;-)
Anonymous said…
You're a mother, you have guilt - comes with the package! They slip it in with the sample nappy before you leave hospital. But it's good for kids to just hang out, spending time occupying themselves is an important skill to learn too.
Visiting from FYBF
Jennifer x
Heheh, thanks for the giggle Jen and Glowless.
I am glad I'm not the only one who doesn't ahve a full planned schedule for school holidays.